Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Eyes on India-- Installment 4!



Today's Thoughts...

Jaipur is hot. Rajasthan is hot. Typically, the desert is hot particularly in hot season—small fact we somehow overlooked. Boiling (literally my skin felt like it was going to slide off my face), we arrived at the eclectic and wonderful Peacock Hotel. Our jaws dropped. Palatially-sized rooms, strong arctic breezes from desert coolers (sort of like a water-powered aircon unit/fan with something resembling a bird’s nest tucked inside; still uncertain of exactly how the contraption worked), oversized king beds, shimmering bathrooms with no sullied streaks of unknown sources—we were in heaven, Peacock Heaven.

Immediately we plopped down on the beds (after a brief rendezvous on our balcony (a balcony!)) and straightaway passed out. When we woke it was dinnertime, which was the perfect time, chowing down on undeniably delicious curry, paneer, aloo, and even some sneakily weaseled warm and large Kingfisher beers. Subsequently and logically, we then we slept some more. In fact, when I think about it, when not trekking on foot in the searing heat or snapping shots (or shots being snapped of us) at national sights, we spent much of our time in recovery from the heat and chaos, sleeping. Not that I minded one bit.



Our reserves replenished, we took to the streets of Jaipur the next day. Suddenly every rickshaw driver was our best friend, every rickshaw our own private “Indian helicopter.” It was hot, the streets long, but we pressed on, politely declining every overeager offer for a ride. Wandering down a random alley, we found ourselves in the midst of one of the inner city’s bazaars. Suddenly the street narrowed to a shoulder by shoulder width and people suddenly appeared bursting from the crannies, cracks, and crevices of every building in sight. The mouth-watering smells luring us ever deeper into the fracas, we stopped at a firepit on the side of the street for samosas. Giggling children, gaping adults, shifty-eyed youngins— all stared in wonder, snickering behind their hands. A small child tried to thump my rear as he passed, chuckling with his friends. I turned and bum-bopped him right back. He squealed, jumped, and raced on laughing.



Fried savories devoured, we wound our way on through the silver market, the gold market, the metal market, the clothing market, the shoe market, the meat market, the veggie market, the market market stopping only to climb our way up the dizzying spiral staircase of a large minaret to see the city skyline. Our tireless guide (and by guide I mean the rando dude standing at the base of the minaret who followed us up and explained in lilting tongue something about a fort and a king and a son and a death and many things I found difficult to concentrate on while gazing into the exquisite midday horizon. Eeerrrrttt! Rewind. So when have you heard me tell a story that didn’t have some rando-crazy-nuh-uh-hold-up kinda ridiculousness goin on?



Oh we wound our way through the streets alright, bobbing and weaving in and out of gorgeous sari fabric shops and precious blacksmith handicraft stalls (prompting my purchase of a several kilos miniature brass theater mask—when am I going to use that again? Right. Never.) And that’s when Allison noticed her. A young woman, not more than thirty, in a faded blue sari, walking not more than twenty paces behind us. I thought she looked a little off particularly given her wild and untied/unbraided hair, so uncharacteristic of most women we saw, but I shrugged and ignored it…until we saw her behind us after nearly half an hour of our wanderings. That’s when I noticed her mildly unfocused gaze and battered appearance. We both turned around stared at her with that cold excuse-me-can-I-help-you? face, but she just stared off into space as if she couldn’t see us. Five minutes later, she was still there. We stopped again, glared again, and this time made gestures for her to get-going. Not a moment’s hesitation, she walked closer, further still. Allison was getting agitated and for that matter so was I. She turned and shouted something at her. People looked, but she did nothing. Didn’t ask for cash, didn’t want a photo, didn’t try to snatch our purses, didn’t appear to want to shank us—I mean our thusfar vocabulary in random street interactions was exhausted and we could find no meaning to her madness. Yet she crept uncomfortably close still. It was unsettling.

Finally, we both turned around, marched to her, which certainly took her by surprise, and demanded to know who she was and what her deal was. Allison threatened to call the police (both of us fully aware that meant nada) and I told her that if she was going to follow us for nearly two hour she darn well better have a good reason for it and grrr! She stared back with sneering eyes (yes, sneering eyes). (A test! Aha! She DOES speak English!) Did we offend you? Hurt you? Wrong you in someway? She just stared. Well, if you've got nothing to say, then GO! I bellowed. She jumped a little and backed up a step. GO! Allison repeated. Still sneering with those now very clearly focused eyes, she backed away only to hide behind a wall and glare. I sighed, shook my head, and that’s when I spotted the minaret. So as Mr. Bubbly Bopping tour guide droned on about something I barely remember, I was searching not merely for the beauty of the Jaipur skyline, but for the trail of our sulking, slinking, spectral companion in the crowds below. Deciding the coast was clear, we descended once more into the melee. Encounter one of five million of inexplicable strangeness.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Eyes on India-- Installment 3!



Today's Thoughts...

It was 4 a.m.: we saddled up like camels preparing for our sojourn across the seas of sand. Combing our way through the dark, we arrived at the New Delhi Railway Station. True to Lonely Planet’s word, the day before every tout and uncle within sight swore till they were blue in the face that no tourist office existed in the ND Railway station. That we had to go to a special office, their special office. That there was a fire; that it was their lunch break; that rabid chimps had taken over the office and held hostage all inside (not as far-fetched as it sounds when I started to notice the oddly copious hordes of primates in Indian train stations). Whatever, we said, we want to see this for ourselves. And we saw it alright, in the form of two tickets issued by an official tourist office employee, posted price to boot. At 4 a.m., tickets in hand, we arrive at the station, sleeping babies and grannies and mommies and poppies everywhere. By about 5 a.m., our train appears to arrive. In our spare time, we had made a friend, a young guy heading to Jaipur to publish his new book on Rajasthani fabrics and the legacy behind them.

Chatting and rubbing our puffy eyes, we slog our way onto the train. We walk the length of the train and platform, with no luck at finding our “air con chair seats.” Disheartened, we assume we’ve been had and head to the car marked with the number on our tickets. A frightening-ish bunker in the wee light of the morn with dozing bodies stretched everywhere, pools of spittle on the floor, and remnants of what I expect must have been last night’s samosas, ah and Mr. Cockroach, the erstwhile tenant of our car. But something doesn’t feel right. Allison inquires if this is the train to Jaipur. Blank stares. Now the first thing that struck me when I got to India was the abundance of English speakers, a foreign concept coming from the khas and kops of Thailand. I tried my luck on a small child—no dice. Our friend did as well and turned to us in confusion— this is the train to DEHRADUN! As in about a gazillion kilometeres north of Rajasthan. His eyes appear panicked. Bloody hell.

We turn to exit and notice that our path of egress has been blocked by other entering passengers. Everyone is suddenly crowding quickly… the train is moving! We push and nudge our way politely to a door. A man stands mouth-wide, gaping at us as he washes his face and shaves in the sink. Allison makes a hurried gesture to the door. He continues to stare, holding his razor. Our friend waves his arms wildly. The man does not budge and the train has gained speed. I turn heel, and squeezing Allison’s hand run in the opposite direction. A single small child is the fatality of this action. Dazed, he lies on the floor, clearly puzzled as to how he got there in the first place. We jockey and elbow past him and the rest of the cabins occupants. I pause at the door. The tracks are now whizzing beneath us. FREEZE. This is the part where I say, “These are the things I’m sure if I ever knew were to exist when I came to Asia, I would solemnly swear to NEVER do.” This is the time when I do them.

Our friend acts first and tosses his bag to the platform, jumping off into a sort of jog. I follow suit, chucking my oversized pack to the ground and reaching for his outstretched hand as he now runs to keep up with the train. We tumble to the platform. I turn, but too late to offer a hand; Allison is in the air. Wordlessly we all rise and gather our scattered belongings. After a moment’s pause, a garbled loudspeaker announces that the train to Jaipur will arrive one hour late. This is Asia after all. We take one look at one another and burst into hysterics.

Passersby stare bewildered and perturbed. We are perturbed. It is something like 6 a.m. Crying with laughter and tears, we collapse onto our bags, our hearts finally keeping pace with our breathing. This is why I came to India.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Morning March













MORNING MARCH

in tribute to the robed figures of the dawn

Burnt with a tinge that touches the sun
The smell of vermilion, a thousand golden orbs
A flame when it dances, blistering heat
Evanescent glow, celestial globe as it sinks
The sound of tangerine, a rush of sanguine winds
Russet, carmine, cerise, a blush of brilliant peach
Gracefully billowing
Constantly winnowing
Light from dark
Truth from life
Higher they climb
Olympian conference
On dorado peaks they sit
Honeyed towers of praise
La paz.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Eyes on India-- Installment 2!



Today's Thoughts...

After a mildly harrowing taxi ride from the airport, we arrived smack dab in the middle of Main Bazaar, in the Paharganj neighborhood aka backpacker-soulsearching-on the journey tomyinneryogi hangout of the city. Already spent, sweaty, and starving, Allison and I deposited our belongings in shady, sheisty, just plain sketchy digs that went by the name of Hotel Downtown. It was downtown alright. Grimy walls, rickety stairs, stained hallways that screamed something from a slasher film—yep, that was our place which Allison assured me (pause for the gentleman at the desk who hacks a loogey in her direction, er, to the trashbin at her side) came highly recommended as a sweet cheapie by a close previous companion (who a few days later, bless her heart, came down with a nasty case of bed bugs from another sweet cheapie down south). So I shrugged, albeit hesitantly, and chalked it up to my ignorance of South Asian mores and anyway it was a steal and anyway all hostels in the country sort of make your skin crawl. Eh, a little grime never hurt anyone, right?
We half stumbled our way down the small alleyway the hotel was located in, out to the main street. I promptly dove behind a cucumber pushcart to avoid the large wildebeest hurtling my way. Correction—cow. The large COW hurtling my way.

Shaken, though not broken, I clung tight to Allison as we picked our way through the main drag. No fewer than six motos nearly ran me down, two taxis actually struck me (going at about 10kmh, mind you), and three more cows stepped on my foolishly exposed toes. Steel-toed boots next trip? Check. Sort of like a game of Frogger, we danced across the street, zigzagged around the corner, and found ourselves in front of a dilapidated building. Allison reconsidered her guidebook. We were in the right place. We made our way up the five flights of stairs, I slipped twice on unknown substances, and finally arrived at a quaint and tasty-looking rooftop restaurant. We downed two sweet lassis a piece, a basket of garlic naan, some chicken tandoori, and a delectable bowl of curried chindi paneer (chickpeas and fresh cheese). I nearly melted out of my seat. Most of India was much the same—a culinary banquet at every meal. I may have had three bad meals during my entire stay. Gotta hand it to them, Indians know how to rustle up some mighty good grub. No complaints there!

Reluctantly, we stumbled our way back into the city (spent most of this trip stumbling and bumbling through the country), swathed our faces in moist scarves to keep from hacking from the billowing clouds of construction smoke (all prep for the Common Wealth games in October), and dodged wayward streams of saliva as we headed back to our humble (homey? homely? unholy?) abode. The next morning found us, satiated from an oversized breakfast-brunch-lunch, heading out to meet fellow traveling companions on what we expected to be a whirlwind tour through Rajasthan, the western desert state of the North. Instead, evening found us, sweaty, exhausted, shopped out, and lamentably friend-less as our would-be companions had taken off on their own whirlwind tour the day before without us. With a pout and a sigh, we bought train tickets to Jaipur, the pink city of Rajasthan, and prepared our own bootleg Indian desert (so smart aren’t we in hot season?) adventure. Well, at least the hotels would be cheap, bed bugs and all.

Five Things Mama India taught me my very first day:

1. Cleanliness is overrated
2. Culinary-ness is next to godliness
3. Dodging cars, cows, and streams of saliva that reach inhuman distances= Olympic sport
4. Beauty is skin deep, and hair deep, and sari deep, and Indian women deep
5. Rooftop refuge is a must.

And as a bonus— one hell of a way to spend my birthday. Desert sands, here I come!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Eyes on India—Installment 1


Today's Thoughts...

About a month and a half ago, something really awesome, incredible, and worthy of much fanfare and to-do, FINALLY happened in my life—I went to INDIA. Not really my Motherland, but after four years of gyrating, hip shaking, and exceptional eye seduction in an Indian dance troupe, I feel something likening kinship with the country. A little lowe for Mother India. Thus I began my birthday after spending the night on the floor of the Bangkok airport, straddling two continents as I leapt from Bangkok to Delhi at the start of my grand Indian adventure.

I hopped on my Jet Airways flight from Bangkok, pleasantly surprised and pleased by what I saw. Truly a worthwhile in-flight experience with great service to boot. I had no complaints. I arrived in Kolkata, already a bit wary from the countless warnings and advice from friends, websites, etc. I was ready at arms for anything. After bumbling like an idiot to get through security (“No, miss, this is the man’s security line. Are you a man?” snicker, snicker, a flashing of my dagger eyes.), I finally get my way through the winding woman’s search line, nearly four times the length of that for the men. Come on, ladies, let’s get with the program. After a three hour sulk, starving in the airport, no ATMs in sight to snag cash for a sandwich, hungrily and admittedly moodily at my foolishness for not having cash, I get on my Spice Jet flight. Hahaha, my Spice Jet flight. And oh, was it zesty as ever. (Not really, I just had to throw that one out there).

Delhi. The international arrivals are quite nice, far beyond what I was expecting of a chaotic tumble. I waited for about an hour and half for my friend Allison to show up, and eagerly beaming ran to hug her. Immediately I knew something was up. Bags under her eyes, face slightly flushed, she looked like she’d gone through a number. “How was Mumbai!” I squealed. She smiled weakly and motioned for us to head out for a taxi. In nearly a month’s time, I’d find myself shaking my head at my naivete. Oh, Mama India, how you have changed me.

TBC...

Monday, June 21, 2010

Power of the Pen


Today's Thoughts...

After what I thought was a very successful class on the social commentary and pseudo-feminist analysis in Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper,” I heard the words that would make any teacher groan: why so serious? Well, in a piece about the effects of psychosis on a woman tumbling into mental deterioration, I suppose one might think that the story might be a bit… serious.

But this is typical commentary for any piece I examine with my kids that doesn’t end with a hearty guffaw or have some secret murderous twist to freeze their hearts in their chests. Often, I hear my students complain not simply that the language is difficult (a deserved statement perhaps when dealing with Shakespeare and ESL readers); not that the concepts are too complicated (as one may be wont to say when digesting Dickens or Hawthorne or Brecht); and not even that the material is too dense (a ten page short story consisting of a series of pithy journal entries hardly warrants the nomenclature of the “tedious text” category). No, my students merely put up a fuss because (surprise, surprise!), sometimes life just ain’t all that purdy.

Now I’ll be fair. Sometimes, we do discuss particularly depressing pieces (excluding the pieces on depression per se). I often find myself explaining some major historical occurrence that, despite the indelible mark stamped upon the West, has left barely a trace this side of the Pacific. For example, the Holocaust.
My students all know what occurred during World War II; they can recite the victors, regurgitate the dates, and recount some tales of woe from these places called concentration camps. Never mind about the atrocious scientific testing on people herded about like cattle. Forget the tales of terror, hiding out in secreted annexes. There was a Hitler, but no frighteningly calculating individuals who went home to their wife and kids every night. There were camps, but no chambers that sucked the life from their inhabitants. That’s just it— it’s simply a veneer of knowledge. For them, these things existed, occurred, but behind a smoke screen, after which the movie was over and everybody lived happily (if brokenly) ever after. The End.

Now how exactly is that going to work in a literature class exploring the depths of mental turmoil and the weight upon the nuclear family unit in Williams’ Glass Menagerie, of the Civil Rights movement in America and the struggle of Black America in Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun, of the perils of reader censorship and the future brain drain of modern society in Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451? I was already chastised once for thinking these kids could read more than two books in a semester (nearly graduating seniors though most of them are). Now what? Am I saying they can prod the depths? That there’s somewhere deeper to go? That it might be possible in some far stretches of the wild, wild imagination to envision a hypothetical situation not yet determined to exist in which these students, my pupils might comprehend a greater world than the sphere they’ve been bubbled in? Time and tests will tell.

Good literature is supposed to teach us about the world. Good literature is supposed to teach us about ourselves. So when you ask, ajarn, why so serious? My answer?

Unfortunately, sometimes life is more than just smiles.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Deja Vu

Today's Thoughts...

So I’ve started teaching again.

I said, I’ve started teaching again!

This is the part where smoke and thunder fills the sky and some unseen voice tells me my destiny is doom, doom, DOOM! You know? The booming voice of fate that informs me that I have made the fatal error and—gasp—remained in stasis dare I say for another semester? Right. Nada. Didn’t hear a word from the skies.
What I did hear this week, however, was the raucous applauding and cheering as I walked into a classroom of students I had never met; the giddy giggles and explosions of AJAAAAAARN! as I pass through the halls; and the gentle murmur of approval from my fellow faculty colleagues. Man, it feels good to be home.

As it is, I sacrificed the chance to flee back to the Atlantic and a world of sticky oil spills and stickier health care bills. I stayed. I stayed. And it feels good. I miss my family a TON. My little brother, well not so little I guess at sixteen with a mustache and muscles to boot, finally got his first summer job selling hotdogs and concessions at the baseball stadium. I feel like a Mommy missing her kid’s first day of school. One of my best friends just graduated, countless pictures of her beaming in her cap and gown all over Facebook. I missed the jolly old year-numero-uno Reunions for my graduating class. A lot of things are happening at home, but even more things are happening inside of me right here.
Watching the newbies come in—teachers fresh off the boat, so to speak, with eager eyes and broad smiles ready to soak up life in the sun on the sands of Thai shores—I suddenly feel old. Correction, I feel ancient.

Some huge stone has been placed upon my back and suddenly, I buckle under its massive weight. I am a year out. I am a year out with no career or grad school plans, at least not remotely concrete ones, in sight. Did I make the wrong decision to escape to a land of coconuts and smiles? Should I be squeezing my way behind a desk at a 9-5 or cramming the contents of classic literature or political theory in the hallowed halls of an institute of higher higher education? I made this choice and now… I’m coping with all the particles that come with living with it.

I am happy. I am also intermittently lonely, no matter how many incredible friends I surround myself with. I love teaching. I also feel unfulfilled at times when I’d rather be measuring out spike tape on a stage than recording attendance in a class. I don’t know if I made the right decision. What is right anyway? Right now? Right not left. Righteous minded. Right is relative. I made a decision and I think it was a good decision and at the moment I am just waiting to see, thank you very much. What does autumn hold as the green green banana leaves change…well… remain their perky green? Your guess is as good as mine. But right now, for the moment, I think here is a good place to be.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Kreng Jai


Today's Thoughts...

Kreng jai. It took me quite a while to figure out just what those words meant. Kreng jai. I don’t mean a literal translation. A monkey could decipher that (albeit an exceptionally intelligent monkey perhaps.) Kreng jai. Those were the first words that stuck in my head when I came to Thailand nearly a year ago. Kreng jai, na kha. I was huffing or fussing over something, visibly frustrated and on the brink of tears. Funny thing is, I can’t even remember what I was upset about. I just know it was the first week of school and jet-lagged, overwhelmed, and terrified of the year ahead, I sat at my desk with my head in my arms trying my damnedest not to cry. Breathe, I kept telling myself. Just breathe. At that moment, our secretary walked by, her too-high high heels clicking loudly on the marble tile as she approached. She beamed at me, her bright pink lipstick peeled back to reveal a glistening toothy grin. It was true what they say—the Thais do have good dental. Gradually, I forced my lips to curl skyward. Yes? Part of me wanted to shout: “What?” What more do you people want from me? I’ve traveled for 36 hours, slept for about six and now am nearly through a week of suffering the mind-boggling labor of trying to determine what the heck it means to teach. WHAT!

But I didn’t say that. She started to hand me a piece of paper but thought better of it. “Mai pen rai,” she mumbled, backing away. Suddenly I felt guilty. “Wait,” I offered. “Mai pen rai, she repeated. Kreng jai, na kha.” With that she clicked away the way she had come. She carried a letter she had painstakingly penned to her future fiancé, an American lieutenant, that she wanted me to proofread. Well, that part I didn’t learn until some time later. In fact, her words fading from my mind, it was quite some time later that I figured out what she had meant and felt all the worse for it. Two weeks later, I pulled out my already weathered Thai dictionary to search for the meaning of kreng jai. Kreng jai. Kreng jai. I flipped until I found the right page. Kreng jai, or cool heart. ‘A foremost concept in Thai society, kreng jai refers to the sentiment of avoiding any and all situations where you might put someone else in the position of losing face, or being enmeshed in a difficult situation, the resolution of which might give a poor impression of the individual in question.’ In other words, she had backed off because she did not want to make me look bad. She could tell I was tired. She could tell I was frustrated. She knew I didn’t want to be bothered. And asking this small favor of me, she equally knew would give her kreng jai for having put me in the awkward position of doing something I didn’t want to do, or refusing her and coming off as an unapproachable colleague. Kreng jai. Sigh. Smacks of something of a distant past. Funny I think of it now.

When I decided to come to Thailand, my parents were hesitant for all the reasons that parents are about sending their children to wander in foreign lands. But I wasn’t going back to Africa—been there done that. I was steering clear of the Middle East—try though I did to convince them otherwise. I was going to Asia, to Thailand, the land of sunshine, smiles, and some damn good pad thai. Nothing ever happens in Thailand. To them, they were sending me to the safe zone. I look at the images now plastered on the TV screens of broadcasts the world wide. Thailand is a war zone. Thailand is a land of destruction. Thailand is burning. Thailand is in shambles. Scanning the gory images, I barely recognize the country I’ve come to call home, however un-Home Sweet Home it may appear at the moment. And to think, a few months ago I’d actually considered leaving because I thought Thailand looked too easy on my resume. I needed a place with some tension, some heat! Ha. And yet, knowing as I do of the horrors unfolding a few hours away; frustrated as I am by being locked down on a military curfew; uneasy as I feel for the tension weighing heavy in the air, to me, Thailand is still the land of smiles and sunshine, hard as that may be to believe.

Thailand is still Thailand, whatever the smoke, guns, and mayhem the TVs display. Whatever the goings-on of a patch of land no bigger than an NYC borough, of the waves of red shirts, red flags, red trucks, red blood that spread through the cities and countryside, Thailand remains Thailand still. In truth, my greatest fear is not getting hurt, but getting stuck. Being trapped with nowhere to go. Having to wait it out in a city under siege. You see, to foreign eyes (and ears and mouths and noses and all sorts of bodily appendages), Thailand is the land of coconuts and smiles. Where ping pong shows and ancient temples line the same streets. Where the smooth paved sidewalks of cosmo Bangkok sit alongside the rolling hills of an idyllic lush northern countryside. Where people giggle at their mistakes and laugh to keep from crying. But the Thais aren’t laughing any more. For so long, too long, this country has hidden its pain behind a veneer meant as much to lure the hordes of obscene and curious tourists as the steady capital flowing in from foreign banks. Meant to cater to the crowds that line their beaches in dental floss bikinis, boasting their Singha and Chang tanks with something one can loosely call ‘pride.’ Kreng jai. Not anymore. Mama, the dirty laundry is hanging out to dry.
People are speaking up, shouting back, demanding that right be right and wrong be wrong. But it’s not just some proletarian revolution like the media would have you believe. Nor is it Cambodia, nor Vietnam, nor any other nation of SE Asia. Thailand is the land of the Thais and as recent months have shown, smiles and wais aside, there’s a whole lot more to Thailand than fancy ads and promos can show.

This struggle is not just about some ages-old feud between the serfs and the aristocracy. It is about a people and a place that is tired of the manufactured smiles and plastic grins. That is ready for some change, whatever that may take. Yes, there is fighting. Yes, there are protestors that have rallied and to the shock of the Western world, held firm for over two months until now. But no, not all of those people are poor farmers waving their pitchforks in revolt. Nor have all of those people have donned masks and taken to the streets, a trail of arson in their wake. Destruction and democracy do not go hand in hand for everyone in the crimson tide.

Let’s set the record straight. There are problems. They might get far worse before they get better. But at this particular junction, it seems time to put kreng jai to the test—to speak up, speak out, and risk losing face while the world watches on.
Santiphap, Thailand. Santiphap. Peace be with you wherever this may lead.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Colors of Cambodia

Today's Thoughts...


A few weeks ago, as a belated Valentine’s Day/anniversary/why the heck not? trip, Dylan and I plodded (literally) our way to Cambodia, just across the Thai border. Now, I’ve never considered myself one for overland adventures (I mean, who wouldn’t rather enjoy a nice bag of crisp pretzels, pop on some headphones, and snooze while your airbus traffics you across the skies?), but travel ain’t cheap on a Thai budget, so the bus and train and taxi and bus (you get the picture), it was.

The journey started on Friday night with me hopping on an overnight bus to Bangkok from Chiang Mai at around 6:30pm. Running my usual half hour behind, I raced to the street outside of my apartment, threw my bag into a songtaew and got ready to race to the bus station at 6pm. Then he said something about nurng roi ha sip baht (150 baht!) and I was like: Hol-la, Hol-la, Hol-la, not happening. So my cheap self and bag jumped out of the moving songtaew and hailed a tuk tuk to a much more favorable price. We flew to the bus station. Not an overstatement considering that we made the 30 minute journey in about 17. Now that’s what I call service.

Okay, so I’m on the bus, snug in my seat with 4 minutes to spare, ready to get a move on. Then a group of unidentified Euro tourists race up, a mother and two girls around my age. Look, now I know I’m not one to say anything about the farang backpackers through Thailand, but sometimes I swear they exist merely to make life more complicated. It irks me to no end. Either they’re stumbling around piss-drunk in their Chang and Singha beer tank tops or they’re practically shouting in insultingly rudimentary English as if the members of the Thai hospitality service are either deaf, dumb, or some combination of the two. I promise you, never in my life have I been nor do I ever hope to be one of such people. This was a group of the latter sort. They rushed up, with thickly accented English I barely understood, gesticulating madly that the bus had to wait. Kindly, the Thai workers agreed and helped them to load their belongings. We are now 12 minutes off schedule. As the women unstrap their sweaty packs, men half their size hoist and tug to get the oversized bags to squeeze into the luggage under compartment. The women are still babbling in nearly incomprehensible English. 18 minutes behind. I press my ear to the glass to hear them better. I hear something about fodder. Ah, they are hungry. No wait, that is incorrect. Father. Yes, there is a father. Someone is shouting about gum. The Thai ticket checker appears nonplussed; she might actually be flushing. Gum? What gum? Oh, no, come. The fodder is coming. 25 minutes. The worker is shaking her head and pointing at a watch, the universal symbol for GET A MOVE ON!

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to leave behind the fodder anymore than they do, but time is money and I’ve got a train to catch in Bangkok at 5am, so we need to move. They’re already late just getting to the bus. There are two more buses tonight. As if on cue, a tuk tuk speeds up to the curb and a very large, very red man steps out. The fodder! There are hugs, kisses, and stern fingershaking, laughter (GET ON THE BUS PEOPLE!) and people start to clamber aboard. Bags are being rearranged with painstakingly slow care. But wait, there is still a problem. Wrong seats. They have not been assigned seats together and this is a problem. The mother is now over-gesticulating again with that maddeningly loud voice trying to explain how they had purchased seats together. The now pinkish red attendant finds two pairs of seats and they appear contented at last. The bus pulls off… 37 minutes late. I jam my earphones into my ears and settle back for the nine and a half hour trek.

At 4:30am, I arrive in Bangkok at the Mochit bus station and race to the platform where Dylan is waiting. Sometime during the night it was decided that it was foolish to take the long train, however scenic, and instead we would zip into Cambodia by government bus #999. Best choice ever! You know all those fake border scams and detours on the way to Poipet from Aranyaprathet main station? Well, not at all thanks to some good ol’ guvment cheese! We got a tip off, got on the early 5am bus and rolled into Poipet, at the border no less, around 10am. After being certain we were being scammed, and wasting half an hour wandering around in the hot sun, sweating, we realized that we were in fact at the real and true border. Passports at the ready, we left the Thai side with no hiccup at all. Once we made it to the border and the Visa on Arrival table, again we circumvented reality, certain that the Cambodian official who demanded 1,000 baht was scamming us. Well, he was. The visa is $20 and $20 only no 100 baht processing fee or any other processing fee for that matter. So we coughed up the $20. How the swindler managed to nab two ten baht coins from my otherwise bare coinpurse is another matter. Anyway, be firm, look confused, smile, and explain that you have changed all your baht and have only the $20 USD fee and then get your stamp and off you go!

So we posed beneath the border sign, avoided the yellow shirted oh-so-friendly-and-helpful guides around, and managed to get our visas stamped in the Visa Arrivals chamber (after you get the actual visa on arrival and pay at the booth with the Cambodian officials), took photos outside of some of the HUGE casinos in the border limboland, and then got into a taxi we got for ourselves after walking just a short ways from the visa terminal. DO NOT take the “government free bus” they offer. We saw where it dropped folks off— at an empty terminal along the road to Siem Reap with only a few expensive hawking cabbies around. So for $35 USD, we assured our driver that we would NOT pay for gas/petrol, that we wanted to go to Siem Reap, that we did NOT want to stop at all, and that we would ONLY pay $35. After a brief stop for the driver to take a leak where Dylan was propositioned through the window by a young girl offering to show him the toilet, we made it to Siem Reap! 21 hours over land and counting… ;P



We stayed at the Shadows of Angkor II the first night with its tiny pool and good Wifi and then Popular Guesthouse our second and third nights to save on some much needed cash. Good choices all around. Clean and that’s the number one priority. Both had good food in their restaurants. The city of Siem Reap is small, but cute and I loved it. Extremely relaxing, albeit overrun by tourists, but filled with friendly Cambodians who speak remarkably great English many of them (at least in comparison to other parts of Asia… not saying any names), thanks of course to the overflow of tourists each year. We loved loved the deliciousness of the appetizers and cheap beer (Angkor Smooth so smooth! So smooth!) at the Khmer Family Kitchen. And then there is the temple complex. What to say? Profound, moving, absurdly well-crafted, impressive, awe-inspiring, worthy of the Ancient World Wonder that it is. We saw several of the temples in the complex, making the most of a three day pass by seeing two full days, a sunset, and a sunrise (a total of four actual days in the park). We visited: Bayon Temple, Angkor Wat itself, Ta Phrom, Kabal Spean, Bantey Srei, and the minor temples of the Leper Kings and Elephants. By far not a comprehensive view of everything, but I loved it all just the same.



Bayon— one of the older sites in the whole of the Angkor complex. Impressive for the featured heads of the king who commissioned its building that took place over decades in phases because he feared he would die and never see the full completion.



Ta Phrom— the Tomb Raider complex. The temple here was Dylan’s favorite because of the ridiculous jungly vegetation sprouting out of it all over. Trees literally consuming the temple. Has to be beautiful at night in the moonlight. Below: Dylan as Larry Croft, Tomb Raider.





Kabal Spean— not actually in the Angkor Complex, though included in the pass. For this, a 1500 meter hike up a shaded mountain slope to the River of a Thousand Lingas running at the top. So a linga is an ancient symbol of the penis and a marker of fertility carved often near the center of some temple complexes. It’s all over Kabal Spean and is matched with a female symbol that is shaped like a box. Promotes fertility and abundance.





Bantey Srei— also not in the Complex, but included in the three day pass is this beautifully carved gem, certainly my favorite. They say it had to have been designed and sculpted by a woman because no man could accomplish the intricate details adorning it. Far more of a site of ruins than some of the other sites, less intact, but beautiful with its clay reddish hue and incredible patterns and designs. So much life in it!



Angkor Wat— finally the big Mama temple herself. Angkor Wat does live up to her hype, let me say that. She is impressive for sheer scope and size, diversity, and majesty. Not my favorite of the temples for character and charm, but it is impossible not to be wowed or at least humbled in her presence. Thinking of these builders centuries and centuries ago, bringing stone from a quarry some 500 km away. Ridiculous. I was blown away so we went here twice— at sunset and at sunrise. Sunrise over Angkor— well worth the wake up. Unbelievable and the pictures don’t do it half the justice.



This is a shot of bullet holes in the temple, hold-overs from the brutal Khmer Rouge days when people fled for their lives into the womb of the Temple for sanctuary. Apparently nothing is sacred in war.



This is my proof that I have found the missing link. Black people in Asia. She's called an Apsara. Look at those lips! Don't even get me started on the hips. Goodness gracious. I'm bout to write me a book on that one.

And thus we came to part ways with Angkor and Siem Reap and make our journey southward to Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. After six fairly pleasant hours, we arrived. It’s hard to imagine how just a few decades ago, this same capital city was sacked by the Khmer Rouge, turned into the focal point of their operations of detention and torture, “liberated” (a term here used loosely) by the Vietnamese, and then occupied by the same until 1989. Talk about history. You can see it on the faces of its people. Because it’s not enough to merely witness the beauty of man, it is necessary to observe the treachery of the same, so we went to the Killing Fields and the museum of Tuol Sleng at S-21, the primary torture facility in Phnom Penh during the bloody short-lived rule of the Khmer Rouge. You see, socialist in inspiration and fanatics in execution, the Khmer Rouge had a well-worn plan in the history of political upheaval— the poor keep getting poorer, so let’s oust the rich and develop a Marxist liberation of the proletariat. Well, the Khmer Rouge took the Marxist doctrine to the purist of states, determining that other nations had missed the point of the revolution. It was not necessary merely to extract high society, it was necessary to exterminate high society from father to son and mother to daughter. Let not that apple fall too far.

So the campaign began. Return the people to their pure state of agricultural life. Turn the economy into an inwardly focused unit, excluding much contact with the outside world, and focus on the production of rice. Move everyone from the overly urbanized cities into the countryside into forced labor for their nation. Everyone, as in communist belief, will look the same— dark trousers or skirt and top, red neck scarf, and simple shoes made of reused tires. Anyone educated or affiliated with the former government and ruling class— abolished, eradicated, wiped clean. If you wear glasses, get rid of them. If you have a pot belly, suck it in so you look bone thin. If you speak other languages, silence your tongue. We will start again.



Thus the conversion of a beautiful high school into a torture and killing facility where classrooms were fitted with bars and desks and chalkboard replaced with electric prods and stool buckets: S-21.



When prisoners were sufficiently broken and tortured, if not dead, they were then passed on to Cheong Ek, the Killing Fields just outside of the city. But be sure to turn up the volume on the loudspeakers in the “Magic Tree” a euphemism for a tree whose sole purpose was to bear the speakers that blared marching music to distort the sounds of the screams of people as they were bludgeoned to death and tossed into crude pits once their throats were slit. Bullets were of course too costly. Same fate for babies and parents. Children, most easily done away with, were held by their ankles and bashed against the Killing Tree once or twice until their precious skulls leaked red. Others were tossed and speared on bayonets. Clothing was taken from bodies to be reused for the next victims. Now at the site a monument stands erected of 8, 895 of the skulls found at this site alone, not counting many graves that have been left untouched at Choeng Ek and elsewhere in the country. So much for the revolution.



Our trip was memorable, if nothing else, and eye-opening. Including the experience of spending our last night in the capital sleeping on a converted massage mat in a massage parlor. I would not trade the experience for either Siem Reap with its ancient wonders nor Phnom Penh with its gory past. Cambodia is an ever-changing country, making its way in modern society and with a history like that of Cambodge, it’s not hard to imagine what glory may one day be restored.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Why So Serious?

Today's Thoughts...



If anyone knows Thailand, you know that as the self-proclaimed land of smiles, turning that frown upside down is not only a catchy motto, but a life adage strictly adhered to by most Thais you will meet. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not lamented, relished, not despaired of. These past few weeks it has been hard to keep that practice in play. Every few days another friend disappears. It is like graduating all over again. People who were daily staples, you called up for dinner or popped into town with for some market browsing— gone, on planes, buses, trains, thousands of miles away from here. Right now, the grand total stands at a count of seven and the toll keeps rising with each passing day. Hasty good byes and tears and hugs with names and faces that ten months ago you struggled to remember. Some will be back in the coming months as the next semester gears up. Some I may very well never see again so wide as this great big ole world is.



It was an emotional day today and I was not prepared for it. I proctored my last exam today, with a class of my beloved Conversation sophomores whom I have taught for the entire year. Perhaps what most nearly broke my heart was the flood of gifts left on my desk all day long. Something like Christmas in March, I’d say. I am now the proud owner of several pairs of earrings, a Turkish whirling dervish, an adorable keepsake notebook, a Thailand commemorative elephant placard, a headband, and a beaded cloth necklace. Oh, kids.



I’m confused, befuddled, perplexed, baffled on so many levels I can’t describe it all. I have loved teaching this year, absolutely loved it. It’s energizing and exhausting, it’s harrowing and humbling, it’s inspiring and enervating-- it’s amazing. Getting to not only know, but touch the lives of so many young individuals. Being given a torch and told to run the race, I am both awed and honored to have performed the job I have been able to perform. But what will become of me now? Do I ride the wave out for another semester, keep plugging away at those midterms and devising crazy classroom schemes to keep students engaged? Do I tuck tail and hurry home, back to “the real world” where everything is silk ties and starched skirts? Do I bury myself in a load of books once more, reliving the Princeton days grad style? And Asia? What of Asia? Do I seek high and seek low for the next opportunity that will fall in my lap or do I hold tight to the bonds and connections I’ve formed here, dig myself into the cocoon of Chiang Mai and keep breathing that fresh Northern Thailand air? Where do you go from here?



As one of my young girls sat in front of me, salty tears streaming down her face, she asked: “Will I ever see you again?” “Of course,” I hastily replied. Of course. Yes, of course. Right?

“See you later, alligator,” she managed with a weak smile.
“After while, crocodile."

I held back my tears.