Today's Thoughts...
"There was a snap, a crackle, and a pop. That’s when I knew I was in love”… with a stripper. Okay, so not really a stripper, but definitely the equivalent of one. Last night we were invited to the Glass Onion. Let’s just recount the club names here for a minute: Glass Onion, Moisture, Warm-Up, Spicy, Blar Blar Bar, Monkey Club—I’m never quite sure if I’m getting my late night shake on or whipping up soufflé for my pet chimpanzee. Strange. Very strange. Anyway, so we make our way to the Glass Onion for its Ladies Night celebration sponsored by City Life, the lifestyles magazine of the blossoming Chiang Mai socialite or so we’ll pretend because I don’t know if we count in that category just yet or ever will. The place is across the alley (meaning ten feet) from an adorable pet shop filled with puppies in the glass window snoozing in the middle of the night when we got there. Picture this: twentys and thirtys-something women hormones raging and biological clocks spinning out of control and cages filled with adorable fuzzy creatures. Perfect recipe for baby voices. The oohs and the aahs and the wickle ickle sweethearts dripped like saccharine love all down that storefront glass. I choose one and fondly named him Francis, or Cissy, my soon-to-be overstuffed pet pug. So precious!
Okay so reeling back in from the mommy puppy overload. We get to the street where the place is supposed to be and wouldn’t you know, it isn’t there. We’ve found that it’s the Thai way or at least the Chiang Mai way I suppose to sort of give you the general directions to a place. Ehh, somewhere around Soi 17 or Huay Kaew, in that general vicinity really. How did we finally find the place you ask? Well obviously we just asked the Mexican night guard on the corner and he pointed us in the right direction. Wait. We’ll do that again. Obviously we just asked the Mexican night guard on the corner and he pointed us in the right direction. (Yes, Mexican not Guatemalteco or Cubano or Puertorriqueño) Last time I checked we were in Thailand. In Asia. For a second I had to do a double take because I was pretty sure I had just walked down the street in LA or Santa Fe or somewhere that was not the back alley of an obscure street in southeast Asia. Crazy. I’m sure he blinked and thought he was back in a back alley in Brooklyn or the Bronx. Could be wrong, but he might, might have had the almost imperceptible of inklings to reach for his gun. I’d like to think we shared a moment at least. A wait-I-don’t-belong-here-anymore-than-you-do-wtf sort of moment.
Inside the bar/club was another story altogether. We were greeted at the door by shirtless Chip n’Dales with rainbow belts (it is Thailand after all and what’s homophobia really? Insecurity to embrace pink shirts and rainbow belts, that’s what). They ushered us in on plush red carpet with women teetering about in their high high shoes and slinky cut dresses, clinking cosmos, metros, and other urban delights. We found a group of our friends and spent the night immersed in the wonders of Thai women and their sheer openness and hospitality. I took pictures with more women I’ve never met and will likely never see again than I think I’ve ever taken with my mother. It was paparazzi madness and almost all done by women with beautiful smiles and waists the size of my index finger. Now I know what celebrities go through and my calves don’t envy them one bit. When we finally did get to sit down, the picture flurry somewhat died down or rather taken over by the squealing greetings and hugs all around us, we were able to sit back, observe, and really enjoy the place. In the corner was the 800 year old DJ (by which I mean 70 or so) blasting Michael Jackson and Flo Rida side by side. You do it, grandpa. He was great. We hung out there nursing oversized martini glasses until late (I was good and only had one!) and finally hurried our way back home to finish grading papers. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such a good mood grading. The kids got lucky last night. I think almost everyone got A’s ;P
